Bittersweet
by GirlWhoLovesFanfiction
Summary: Seras's wedding did not turn out the way she thought it would.


As a little girl, Seras had often sat and imagined what her wedding day would look like. It would be a big ceremony, and she would serve guests mountains of chocolate. Her future husband would have short blonde hair and a devilish smile that turned warm when he looked at her. Her silver ring would hold a million dazzling diamonds with one large carrot in its center. She would have long, flowing locks, and a dress that sparkled in the sunlight. The train would be a hundred feet long, and it would be bedazzled with all sorts of gems. She would get married at the beach, where the crashing waves would play them a melody as they said their vows. Her mother would get teary-eyed, and her father would beam with pride as he walked her down the aisle and begrudgingly offer her small hand to the groom.

But those were the dreams of a child long gone. Instead, her husband-to-be had long brown hair that was braided tastefully down his back and a teasing, playful smile that turned incredibly soft when he looked at her. Her golden ring held one small diamond, so that it would not hurt underneath her glove when she went on missions. She had short, choppy locks that framed her beautiful face cutely, and a sleek dress that glowed in the moonlight. Her train was neither long nor bedazzled; actually, it was nonexistent. She was soon to be married outside an old manor, where the creatures of the night would grow silent as she neared. The thing she had least concern about as a child had taken the forefront of her mind as soon as Pip asked her to be Mrs. Bernadotte:

Neither her mother nor her father were to attend. They had passed away, along with the child who had at one point dreamt of the first wedding.

No, Seras Victoria was not by any means the human girl she had once been roughly forty-four years ago. She was not the goddess every little girl imagines herself becoming, but that was acceptable to her. Truth be told, such an elegant creature would be uncomfortable to impersonate. Instead, she accepted the vibrant and perhaps youthful joy of her beloved, and her now immortal years were filled with happiness. Especially now that Alucard had returned.

They had been fiancés for the decades following Millennium's invasion. Pip had asked for her hand in marriage, and she had accepted. But both agreed that they would not marry yet; not when the entirety of Seras's family could not attend. In spirit, they had been a married couple for thirty years, and behaved accordingly. The only difference was that there had not been a ceremony. And now, there would be.

Integra was her maid of honor. This was a given, considering that Seras could not think of a single other person she would have put in the director's place. Margaret Penwood, who was now very old, had a front row seat, next to her son. A few other young councilmen were sitting on Seras's side, since she had gotten the pleasure of meeting and watching Integra best every single one of them in fencing matches. The staff of the manor was located on both sides, since they were technically already a part of both the bride and the groom's family. The new Hellsing soldiers also sat on both sides, though they weren't nearly as rowdy a bunch as the mercenaries were. Integra had managed to hire actual professionals after everything quieted down. On Pip's side, the front seats consisted of a couple of very old Wild Geese, who had retired as soon as dawn's light brightened the sky the fateful morning her master had disappeared. Seras wished Walter could have attended. He would have made the guests seem a bit more like family.

She had just pinned one stubborn piece of her bangs behind her ear when she felt a new presence enter the room. A tall figure appeared in her mirror, and she smiled. It was a rare sight, Alucard wearing something other than his red duster. The vampire smiled in return, and it was one of genuine warmth that was not mixed with mockery or sadistic glee. He seemed much more tranquil since his return, and Seras was still getting used to it. She decided that it was likely because after thirty years of nonstop butchering, some small part of his bloodlust must have mellowed out. Or perhaps it was his age. He was now six hundred years old, after all. "I still can't believe you waited _thirty years_ for me to attend your wedding," was his unique greeting as he stepped further into the room.

Seras shrugged and turned around. Ah, there they were; those beautiful crimson eyes of hers. "Time doesn't matter to me, Master. I am a vampire, after all."

Alucard chuckled lowly. "So it seems, Seras Victoria. So it seems." The use of her name caused a warm feeling to blossom in her heart and spread all throughout her soul. His smile became nostalgic. "I remember how very human you were, once upon a time. You've grown." And then a teasing glint lit up his eyes. "Of course I'll still think of you as a Police Girl."

She scoffed, and her cheeks went red with embarrassment. "That was such a long time ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you can even remember me like that, considering how _old_ you are."

He outright laughed at that and clapped his hands. "Ah, so my little Police Girl has grown feisty over the years, has she?" Alucard smirked and moved to stand beside her so that they both faced the mirror. "Rest assured, my dear, I don't believe I could forget you if I tried. Your voice is so _loud_ , after all."

That caught her attention. He had said as much the night he returned. But why did he think that? She asked him as much. "Is it really?"

Alucard observed their reflections. In her own right, she was a woman, and a very mature one at that. But still, he couldn't help but notice how very small she was standing next to him, how youthful she still was. "Of course," he answered. "When all the other voices faded to a whisper, it was yours that I heard most clearly after all those years. You never did stop believing I would return. For that, I thank you."

Uncomfortable with the unusual sentimentality, Seras turned her head away to hide her embarrassed blush. "Oh, it's… I mean…" she sighed, then smiled and turned to look up at him. "You're welcome."

He chuckled. There was something so odd about his mannerisms lately. Alucard almost seemed… happy. At peace. Integra and Seras had both agreed, after a full day of having him back, that there was something noticeably different about him. The heiress had claimed that she thought it was because he was tired and relieved to have returned. But Seras didn't have any theories. All she could say about his serenity was that his eyes were ancient. Before, they were bright and vicious as hellfire. Now… they had a constant glow, as if the energy were trapped inside a hot coal, or within magma.

"Come along, then," he said, offering her the crook of his arm. "The mercenary's been waiting three decades for this ceremony. Best not to keep him waiting even longer."

With a flutter of excitement in her chest, Seras accepted the hand, and they left the room together. Music began to play as all guests stood at attention.

Seras walked slowly and nervously down the aisle. Though she had been with Pip for most of her life, something about a ceremony being all for them made her reticent. She passed by the Hellsing staff and soldiers, who gave her encouraging nods and smiles; then the mercenaries, who grinned at her (one gave her a thumbs-up, to which she scoffed and shook her head playfully); then to Margaret Penwood, who beamed with love; then to her son, who awkwardly did the same; then to Sir Integra, who had been walked down by the family's new butler. The heiress's icy eyes warmed when she saw her, and the wrinkles on her cheeks became pronounced as she stood regally by the alter, proudly watching her approach. She had managed to convince Integra to wear a gorgeous red dress to match Alucard's tie, and was still appalled by the fact that Integra had actually listened to her.

She stepped up on the alter and stood in front of Pip. He was grinning, his single green eye sparkling under the moonlight. He was positively elated to see her, to finally be able to call her his wife. She had never seen him in a tuxedo before, and it was such a lovely sight indeed. He looked handsome as ever, and when she looked into his eyes, her fluttering heart stilled. A calmness washed over her then, as if her heart was draped in a warm blanket.

Alucard shifted her hand from his arm and delivered it to Pip. He dug into his suit's pocket and handed the mercenary a small black box, then proceeded to stand to his left. The old vampire had played a double role in the wedding, which had not been traditional. But then again, theirs wasn't an orthodox wedding to begin with. Alucard had played both the father and the best man, as Integra had played mother of the bride and maid of honor.

The procession flashed by after that. Seras would remember saying the words "I do" and hearing them in return. She would remember the heated kiss she shared with Pip and the loud cheer of the old mercenaries thundering in the audience. One of them (the same one who gave her the thumbs-up) actually fired a gun, which made everyone else glare sans the people at the altar. Alucard had laughed at the priceless look on Margaret Penwood's face.

After that, pictures were taken (Pip had joked that the vampires wouldn't show up in them. Seras snapped back that he wouldn't show up either, now that he was a part of her), and everyone headed to the banquet. After a couple of minutes, Alucard had the first dance with Seras. She was surprised at how graceful he was on the dance floor. She had never considered the fact that he had danced at many formal occasions before. Afterwards, she danced the night away with Pip. Margaret and, strangely, the rowdy mercenary slow-danced, Reginald danced with one of the staff's daughters (sweating the entire time), and everyone enjoyed true merriment. Occasionally, one could see flashes of crimson in the audience, where Integra and Alucard swayed, caught in one another's gaze.

A bouquet-toss was later, and Seras had aimed (with her "third-eye", as Alucard had taught her) right at Sir Integra. But of course, the woman had practically dove out of the way. She had barely even been in the mob-scene of competitive young ladies, too; only there out of obligation. But because it had been "tossed" so hard, it went right past where Integra had been standing, and someone who had not been a part of the crowd caught it instead. Alucard looked from the bouquet of roses right at Integra, then offered her the most absolutely fiendish smirk Seras had seen yet. The woman had gone beet-red, and glared at him in disapproval.

It had been a wonderful night.

0o0

The following morning was somber.

Seras left right before the sun began to rise, and as she walked amongst the graveyard, the sun's wrathful gaze glared right at her pale cheeks. She would not become ash, not after becoming a true vampire. But still, much like Alucard, she loathed the sun.

"This isn't normally what a bride does right after her wedding night," Pip remarked, manifesting from her arm and coming to stand next to her.

Both shared a moment of silence as they looked down at the headstone, faded from three decades' worth of weathering. But still, the inscription upon the rock was clear as day.

Seras lifted her hand, which clenched a small bouquet of red roses, and lay the flowers respectfully upon the grass. "I thought we were past pretending to be normal," she responded, turning to look at him with sorrowful red eyes.

"And I thought we were past mourning me, _ma cher_ ," Pip said, wrapping his arm over her shoulders.

The draculina smiled grimly. "What gave you that idea?" When he merely snorted and shook his head as an answer, she leaned into him, marveling at how real he seemed. But his body was a clever scheme of shadows meant to mimic flesh. There was no live human at that graveyard, Seras knew. Not those already below the dirt, not her, and not her husband. "What a bittersweet ending this turned out to be, _mon capitaine_. I finally got my happy ending, but I had to die so I could get it."

Pip chuckled heartily. "If it makes you feel any better, the same could be said for me."

They watched the wind whisper through the grass. It really was a beautiful morning. The sun was just barely hovering over the horizon, and the sky was still set in beautiful orange-yellow. The air was warm; the breeze was cool. There was nary a cloud in the sky. Seras had just gotten married.

And she felt empty.

"When you died, you became a part of me after I drank your blood," Seras said, without a hint of emotion. She had relived that moment so many times, she was devoid of tears. "But not all of you."

Pip's lips thinned. "No. Not all of me."

"You're still under there, and you're still up above."

The former mercenary shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm six feet under, dead as a doornail, probably boozing it up in the finest of Heaven's bars."

Seras stared down at the headstone. Specifically, that one little dash in between the numbers that signified the entirety of Pip Bernadotte's existence. She wondered if, somewhere, there was a headstone for her. If there had been a funeral. But then again, there had been no body to bury. All her friends had died that day. Perhaps there had been a small memorial for her, honoring the cops that had died in what was entitled "The Cheddar Incident". She wondered what Pip thought of his entire life being summed up by that teeny-tiny mark. She wondered what the dash might look like to her, if she ever saw it underneath her name.

"Do you think I'm there with you?" she speculated.

Pip hummed. "Maybe. I wonder, if you _are_ up there, if Alucard's old self might be up there too."

"Running around like a chicken with its head cut off," Seras giggled.

The captain smiled. "Wouldn't that just be a horrible joke, if that is how he died."

Seras nudged him dismissively. "Like Integra always tells me, my sense of humor's become morbid."

The humor slowly began to fade from Pip's face. She had died to get her happy ending. But this wasn't the ending. Would her humor become increasingly morbid over the years? Would it become so morbid that she didn't laugh at the silly things in life anymore?

"Do you think… after I'm gone… I have a chance up there?"

Pip buried his nose into her hair and closed his weary eyes. "I can't tell you that, _ma cher_. I guess we'll both have to wait and see."

Seras stared out at nothing and everything all at once. "I hope so, Pip. I really, really do."

 **You know how at the end of episode seven, the mercenary comments via his monologue that Pip was both inside of Seras, but also gone? I was kind of wondering: did the same principle apply to vampires, after their human selves perish? Or does Pip really exist solely inside of Seras?**

 **Also, I don't speak French. So if I messed up the masculine/feminine words, I apologize. I'm under the impression that it depends on whom you're speaking to (boy or girl) that decides which form to use. If it turns out there are any errors, I could always just make corrections later on.**


End file.
